City of Joy - Bus tales!!

Hey peeps, What's up there?

After quite a hiatus, feels wonderful to post again.

Lets's start the tale, shall we?

Who hasn't travelled in city buses? All of us, right? Like it or not, you cannot ignore the experience. We get to meet lot of people; rude ones, attention seekers, girl with a smiling face, boy whose mobile game mode on, that adamant kid who make you swear not to have kids in your life and what not?! I gonna share some of my experiences travelling in Kolkata bus. And at the end of the day, they brought smile to my lips.

So I have thyroid for the past 10 years and the medication is intake of a tiny tablet every morning before breakfast. That's all and you are ready to face the world. My ideal weight should be 52-55 kgs which I successfully maintained for nearly 9 years. Not deliberately though. My system just refused to gain weight but tummy. And now my weight just shot up to 65 kgs in one year. My mom calls me idly moonji (idly face - just 2 big idlys stuffed inside my mouth on each side). Sometimes she is very concerned that I am exceeding my ideal weight way too much. On the contrary, my MIL likes to see me this fat bahu. To her, the more you weigh, the more happy, healthy and wealthy you are. I never bothered about my weight until I started travelling in Kolkata public buses. So what's motivated me? The seats!! Whoa, the seats of the buses are so long that only one and a half bum (butt cheek) could fit in. The person occupying the window seat occupies 3/4th of the seat and the person sitting on the aisle occupies the remaining space adjusting half bum to sit on that.

the actual space

I am sure I must have gotten lots of blessings from so many people because I always offered my aisle seat. And if I sit next to the window, I am that rude, brutal, arrogant and unkind woman. I try to occupy the 3/4th of the seat and still someone would sit next to me, squeeze me after squeezing themselves to fit in. What if I happen to sit on the aisle? I came up with this hack. Sit sidewards; perpendicular to the person sitting next to you. In this way , you can cover both bums to fit in the seat. You are not comfortable, you sit on the edge of the seat. But that's okay. I can sit with two bums now and this idea is breeze. Like this :

my hack!!!

But wait, the driver brakes the bus and before you realize this, your head bangs on the handle bar and you slide zuuuuing to the front with your bum hitting the front seat after your cheeks. So let's stick to being the one who is kind enough to offer the aisle seat. 

And now I stand up.

A girl steps on my toe's little finger with her block heels.

Me undergoes excruciating pain because just a day ago I hit my little finger on the sides of the table, and just few minutes ago someone else stepped on the same finger with her wedge heels. 

Also Me: Looks at the person who stamped on my little finger. Tries to stare at her. Nope, she just won't see me. My deadly stare gets wasted.

She kisses her fingers and walks off. Seriously? Aren't you supposed to kiss my hurting kutty little finger? Okay Po, I forgive you.

During my initial days in Calcutta I called everyone by 'Sir'; autowala, conductor, grocery shop person, dhobiwala and everyone who are part of my life. That's how we address everyone in Bangalore. And then, my husband told me to address everyone as Dada convincing me that's 'respected Mister' in Bangla. Just utter the word now and feel. So much love and respect oozing out, na. I started addressing everyone as Dada. Coming back to my bus tales, everyone in the bus called me Didi. Didi please move, Didi hold this bag, stuff like that.. I always had this impression that Didi means 'Miss' as opposed to Dada meaning Mister. And now after one year of ignorance, I recently came to know that Didi means elder sister. 

My reaction: What?! Come again!! Yes, Didi means elder sister. 

WTH, I allowed everyone to call me Didi. Right from bus conductor, to senior people asking for my seat, elders to hold their bag, mothers of school kids proclaiming me as Didi to them, same mothers proclaiming me as Didi to their kids also. "Didi hold my Beta's bag", "Beta, sit on Didi's lap" 

My reaction: Dude, I myself am sitting on half bum. Me Looks at Beta and says, "You sit Beta". And then I see the mother taking my seat (WTF, I offered the seat to your Beta) and making her Beta sit on her lap while beta sliding zuuuuing to the front seat before me placing my palm so that her Beta doesn't hit his head. A deadly stare from the mother. (Really? I just saved your son's head). Deadly stare continues......

And by this time the bus unloads half of the passengers at famous stops and me again combing for the window seat. Everyday story and I am loving it.

Lots of love.

Pic courtesy

Pic 1 and 2 : My phone

Picture 3 : herohunter.com